Thank You All

Came home, Cuddles was no where to be found. After an exhausting search of the house she finally Came out from hiding. She was a complete mess. You see, when being fed "nutracal" you must put it on her mouth and/or her paws and let her lick it off which ultimately forces her to eat. The problem (which I didn't expect to encounter) was that she can move around so much doing this that it gets all over her fur and later gets sticky. This is what I found...it was all over her fur and sticky.. I had to spend the evening getting it out of her fur. Some of it had to be cut.... trust me, I was extremely careful and it's barely noticeable... who would want to ruin that beautiful coat?

I tried to keep her calm while cleaning up her fur, she was severely stressed out. She drank so much water after that she choked and spit it up.. she later tried to use her litterbox however her cleanup efforts after the fact.. didn't go so well. I held her in my arms and realized what she tried to clean up ended up on my arm. I then realized I needed to clean her up. Unfortunately when female (and perhaps male as well) kitties get sick, they won't groom themselves. I was up until 2am trying to clean her up and keep her calm and all the while then trying to calm her down.

I never thought I would see the day where I would have to intentionally limit her water intake... but I do.

Thursday Jun 9th, 2005

They say "when a kitty begins to hide a lot.. it's because they just want to be left alone so they can find a nice quiet place to die"...

Every night when I come home.. it is what I fear the most when I can't find her. Tonight, when I came home, I was not able to locate her. She often finds phenominal hiding places. I got home early tonight in hopes of being able to get to sleep early and make up for the previous night. Unable to find her I was worried and stayed up until I passed out. Then, shortly after Midnight, Cuddles strolls on in to my room. I saw her and immediately picked her up and hugged her. Shortly thereafter she began to lick her lips a lot as if she was going to swallow... a sure sign she was again going to spit up.. I moved her and she did. White foam... a short time later we just sat together.. she purred then walked to her water dish. I let her go .. knowing.. she was now safe. When she was done, she came back to me... laid down near me, purrrred and sat to rest.

Friday Jun 10th, 2005

Cuddles seems to be getting smaller, thinner and lighter. I've got to get her to eat... overnight, I was awoken by her sounds... of drinking water, then spitting it back up because she drank too much. Something is making her exceptionally thirsty and since we're keeping it very comfortable in the house for her.. it's got to be something internal.

Dear G_d, Please give me the strength to deal with this and help her before it's too late and you take her from my loving arms and her loving home...

Work: Today at work, the guys in my group felt how upset I've been about Cuddles. Their concern led them to play a little joke on me. They hijacked my laptop and put a little jingle of the "meow-meow-meow-meow" song on.. the cute commercial! When I got to my desk I was notified I had new email.. immediately the jingle played.. I jumped and then laughed.... it was a big stress relief! Thanks guys.. it was appreciated.

I chatted with a co-worker who told me the story about his dog. His parents put $5k into an operation, many people thought they were crazy, but the pooch is now still around 7 years later. I think they made a great call! If it was your "kid" or "family member" you wouldn't even hesitate to do just that. Once you've had a pet for a certain length of time.. your pet.. becomes family. It's up to you to determine that length of time.. the never ending question is.. who are we to decide? (Ok, that argument opens a whole new can of worms.. now doesn't it?)

Cuddles is currently suffering from what not only has "bitten" her bad, but from heavy anxiety and stress as well. This can bring her down and perhaps even kill her. I've spoken to Michigan State Vet School in East Lansing, MI. It will cost $80 for a visit and $200 - $600 for a workup. (I've already spent $1500 or more in medical bills.) This is before they can even tell me anything. Nursing her back to health.. is extremely expensive and I can't let my baby down nor can I let her "find Kitty Heaven" before her time.

Michigan State's Vet Teaching Hospital is in East Lansing, MI which is about 1 hour away. This is traveling time for her in the car and perhaps time away from work for me.. more stress for her and less pay for me.. though she is more than worth it.. it is all very stressful as I cannot afford the day off and she cannot afford more stress. There is no disputing that Cuddles need medical attention.. it feels like my hands are being tied with no way to work with my options.

I want to thank my work associates along with my supervisor (GK) for their total support and understanding.. during this trying time.

The Race is ON to find out what it will take to get her to EAT once again! and NOT get sick in the process.

If you would like to donate to aide in helping Cuddles.. your efforts would be most appreciated. Please do not think that just because you are reading this site (whether I pointed it out to you or not..) that you are obligated in anyway.. I love to share this site with others. Your hearfelt help would be most appreciated. Operations are expensive. Please contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

 

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My Thanks to all of you who truly care (for all of your suggestions, thoughts and prayers) and to everyone at the Berkley Animal Clinic (Especially Lisa who is very concerned and keeps reaching out to see what is going on with Cuddles... Lisa is my former neighbor). Special thanks to Tammy who has given me very special Kitty Mommy advice as she has struggled through the same thing before. I've known Tammy for a lifetime. Tammy is Pete's sister. The situation is very real and she is in the hands of someone who refuses to lose a fight... especially this kind. While others may have given up by now.. I'm not even close. Pets are no different than family members... cause they ARE family members. One way or another, I'm nursing my little girl back to health until I know God truly has other plans for her. (I pray that doesn't happen for a long time.. I don't know what I would do without her in my life - we need each other).

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So Sweet...Sweet Dreams Baby, Dream of Better Days To Come...

Cuddles Dreams Away...

Monday June 13th, 2005

While at work today, I called MSU and made an appointment but since there was nothing available until Wed or Thursday I had to take what I could get. I called my local Vet shortly thereafter.. I was told NOT to wait as they were concerned she might not make it through the week. I was advised to get her in through emergency. I didn't even know MSU had an emergency service.

Left work at 11:30AM... MSU bound and determined to seek out help for Cuddles. It was the greatest car ride we ever had together.

I knew going in, that I would more than likely be leaving her there. They were great in every way. MSU Small Animal Clinic deserves it's praise. After an examination they immediately put her on IV to give her fluids and nutrition. She weight in at 7pds! Last time at Berkley she weighed in at 7.5pds. She's losing weight rapidly. They noticed this and concerned is valid. Cuddles was admitted.

Out of respect for privacy and by request I have omitted the Drs names but want to extend my sincere gratitude for their unlimited commitment and total quality of care to Cuddles as well as my own. They do have an awesome understanding of the bond between a pet and their owner. Would you want anything less?

 

I want to make a very special thanks to all those at the Michigan State University Small Animal Clinic.. you've treated Cuddles incredibly well. Thank You for working so hard to find the underlying cause and for an awesome job in keeping me informed in the process! I'm glad you're around!

Don't mind the date on the pic.. obviously it's a "little" off...

Directly next door is the future site of the new Cancer Center for Small Pets will be.

Tuesday June 14th, 2005

Been in constant contact with MSU Interns and Drs. It was hard enough leaving here there let alone not knowing what's going on. They contact me with every update when they have one and they do an outstanding job of it. I couldn't even repeat half the stuff I found out about (even though I do understand what they are telling me) but they are explaining it well and have answered every question I've had. They believe the problem is in her abdomin and feel they've narrowed it down but she needs surgery or she'll die.

Wednesday June 15th, 2005

The current intern assigned to Cuddles gave me a call this morning. States she is back up to a temp of 104. I didn't like this considering when I brought her in she was at 102. I advise this is an ongoing problem and we need to find out why. Later in the day I spoke to the Dr.. I was advised Cuddles really needs surgery at this point given all the tests but they now have a very good idea of what might be going on. I agreed to it.. I drove out to see Cuddles and meet and speak to the Dr, Intern and Surgeon. Spent lots of time with her and they answered every possible question I had.

While in the small room.. I took these...

The small purple and white thing you see is a Cath and it's wrapped so it looks like a splint to keep her from bending her paw. Doesn't she look thrilled?! It was great to see her again!!

 

Cuddles will now undergo Surgery Thursday afternoon.

Thursday June 16, 2005

Cuddles was operated on at 3pm. Surgery lasted 3 hours.

I received a phone call from the Dr tonight at about 6pm. Cuddles made it through surgery and was in the process of waking up. Cuddles was placed on a feeding tube for the time being. There was no bug that bit her.. part of it was Pancreatitis. At least now they know some of what to treat.

They didn't find Any masses. So far they have done a biopsy and have testing to do. The next 24 - 48 hours are critical. The next few days are extremely important. Cuddles must accept the feeding tube temporariy to turn things around for her. Also, we must continue to pray that none of the testing returns positive for cancer.

 

 

Please check back for further updates.

Friday June 17, 2005

Went directly to the Clinic after work to see the Princess...

One very nice intern waited for me to help me with Cuddles

How she was when I first got there...

Cuddles was alert and woke up as soon as we opened the cage!

She was picked up and turned around so I could see what was up.

Cuddles is "Dealing" with it so far...

What you're seeing.. is her feeding tube until she is a bit stronger and can eat on her own... this way there is no hassle in trying to get her to open her mouth.. eventually.. she'll get tired of this.. it's called, tough love, post operative procedures and a way to get Cuddles.. back to being.."Cuddles"!

The white mesh little "sweater or shirt" is there to prevent her from licking the stitches because "kitty" bacteria can damage and infect the stitches. It's ultimately for her own good and very shortly she'll be back under my care once again.

This is one poor tired and drugged up little girl... that's my hand comforting her...

The drugs are taking their toll.. She's been through.. A lot!

But... She was purrrrring... the entire time! :)

The Dr came by and talked to me about Cuddles and in detail explained to me about various things concerning her and her recovery process.

Sweet Dreams Baby... this is what she looked like as I left...

She still wasn't feeling too good and the drugs were still working. Poor little girl

I asked the intern to get a cover for her.. she gently put the cover over her and told me this is what she does every night... how sweet is that?!

I'll always be extremely grateful to all those involved at MSU who helped with Cuddles. You've earned a warm special place in my heart for your loving touch and gentle care of Cuddles.

A Great Big Thank You to Everyone at MSU Small Animal Clinic for taking such great care of Cuddles (such a special little girl I care so much about).

Now.. to PAY for such an operation and Awesome Care to which they've provided Cuddles...and the Journey isn't even over yet...

The BIG NEWS from the Operation has still yet to come...

MSU Small Animal Clinic has done what no other local pet clinic or hospital has been able to do.. and more.

The DRIVE..however exhausting, is certainly worth it!

Saturday June 18, 2005

Recovery Mode Begins!

Saturday Morning... Cuddles was feeling great as you will see shortly

She was getting ready to make her move...

To get...

(peeking to see if it's safe to come out yet)

Out of Dodge...

and back to Checkin' things out!

Cuddles... is on the move once again!

Dig That!

Way To Go Princess Cuddles!!

Some Prayers Have Been Answered...

however we're still awaiting the big Answer....

Cuddles and I have been fighting her problems for about a month.. almost since the beginning of this page. I thank God for MSU in helping to save her life... the Doctors have been very thorough. We're hoping to get back results NOT linking her to Cancer.. we can fight everything else.. but it will take lots of effort and resources...

We're not out of the woods yet folks... but it's a pretty damn good start!

Sunday June 19, 2005

Picked Cuddles up from MSU this morning! Time for my little girl to come Home!

They were happy and sad to see Princess Cuddles go home.

After putting up much fuss for a while.. she finally tuckered out in Dad's Lap. She was finally able to relax knowing she was going home.

Completely Out!

Don't even bother trying to wake her.. she's earned it!

After all.. she suffered in a ward for a week...

First time back home... surroundings modified for post surgery recovery.

Right to her bowl! WOW!!!!

I had to restrict her intake of dry food .. wasn't expecting her to do that!

Put AD in a dish.. she went right for it! I got so excited that my little girl was eating on her own again.. I snapped this immediately!

Now There's a Picture worth Noting!

If she keeps doing this.. they can remove the feeding tube even sooner and things will get back to normal.... THIS is what we're looking for!

Shortly after she began checking out her surroundings. Including this new bed I got just for her!

Hmmmm.... "Are you looking at me?Oops, Busted, I think I like this! "

I wanna get out of this place.. I wanna go run and jump!

Due to restrictions.. I can't let her jump (well, I can try anyway)

I Think I'll just roll around here for a bit and look CUTE!

It worked Cuddles.. !

Finally.. Cuddles finds her place on the new bed.. time to catch some real ZZZZZs!

Finally.. ZZZZs at home!

Peace and Quiet of Home...

Now if we can just get that feeding tube and white sweater off...

and pray like hell.... the test results come back with something to be happy about!

We brought home a special bed just for Cuddles.. added her favorite blanket Viola!

Today at Discharge I was presented with a detailed report about Cuddles.

I would gladly bring Cuddles back to MSU without hessitation!

Thursday June 23rd, 2005

Cuddles is back in the Hospital taking Antibiotics for a 105% Temp.
They are working on the cause.
I've had 1.5 Hrs sleep in the process with no actual meal in 24hrs to boot.

Cuddles was doing awesome all week.. until last night.

I want to give a proper update to you all... however I'm so incredibly exhausted that I just can't take the time to get that done.. please bare with me.. it will happen and there is NEWS to include with the update. As of this writing.. there have been some major developments.

Friday June 24th, 2005

A few days ago..

On Wednesday night Cuddles was doing just fine.. behaving normally during her recovery period. She would get up from her little bed during the course of the night to eat more and more. This may sound great.... until later.

I was watching Cuddles during the night.. her behavior caught my attention so I began paying closer attention. During this time I was unable to sleep because quite frankly I was worried about her. Then she began to eat more and more over a period of time. Around 4AM she got up to go to her litterbox. No problems, she then went to eat and do her little thing of scratching the carpet and her placement.. her little ritual.

Shortly after this point is when she began to moan and start to cry. Immediately following I got up to turn the light on.. watched her, she hunched over, moaned, cryed and hissed. This carried on over the course of the next 30 minutes. I contacted MSU and they recommended I take her in.

Since the only place available within expense range was a place called VES or Veterinary Emergency Service.. after a day or two of staying there we found out she was suffering from pancreatitis.

As it turns out with all discussions involved.. AD which is the same food prescribed to make her eat.. is also the same kind of food that can perhaps provoke this problem due to it's high fat content. They also removed her staples while in their care.

There is more to add however I am unsure that publishing it would be in the best of interests. Cuddles is now once again back in my care. She immediately ate her food once she was back in her own home. She is now resting once again comfortably in her own little bed.

I am not comfortable with somethings right now but I am watching her like a hawk as I always do.

Btw, I did get a report back from the biopsy from MSU....

I would like to hear from everyone who is keeping up to date with this site and ask if you would to know if the results regarding Cancer have infact come in.

You can contact me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

Saturday June 25th, 2005

I have an appointment with Berkley Animal Clinic on this day to check over Cuddles and be sure she is ok.

Met up with BAC... Cuddles is coming along very nicely (aside from her slight weight loss problem (working on it). I have all kinda of new food, antibiotics and special meds for her to help her along her road to recovery.

Later today I brought Cuddles to Premier Pet Supply on Southfield Rd in Beverly Hills, MI.. our Regular Pet Supply Store.. they were just great with her there. I want to say thank you to them for taking the time to help us with our needs. They even opened a can to see if she would like it.. she ripped into it.. needless to say I bought more! I invited them online to the new message board as well. When I got home.. I gave Cuddles her new food.. she had no hessitation in "feasting".

Wednesday June 29th, 2005

Saw the Dr today at Berkley Animal Clinic, Cuddles is doing much better in the healing process. She is starting to once again have that normal instinct to want to jump and crawl under things. Getting somewhat harder to control. She's getting tired of being couped up from this long recovery road.

She's back to eating.... a lot! The prednisone is working quite well.. what I didn't know is that for a cat.. the healing process burns up a lot of calories so she's not gaining much weight at this point.

She is still extremely sensitive around her hind area.

Thursday June 30th, 2005

This morning Cuddles woke me up quite a few times (very early this morning I might add) as she was becoming restless... ah, that awful point in the healing process!

Yes, I've got my kitty back... rambunxious and annoying early in the morning.. couldn't that have waited until I had a bit more sleep?!

She is still too sensitive in her hind area though.. I've placed a call to MSU for the Dr to find out what is going on and why....

I will be posting more recent pictures shortly.

Tuesday July 5th, 2005

Cuddles has been going back and forth for the most part with her recovery... as with most things it is a matter of time before it is a solid direction. She is gaining weight once again. Before this mess began she was at a nice 9.5pds then due to her sickness she came down to 6pds very fast... she is now back to 7pds 2oz. My goal is to put it back to 8.5/9pds which would also put her at a point of removing the feeding tube. Cuddles has been eating very well but I know that part of that is due to the Pred that she is on to help her. Last night at about 1:30AM Cuddles went to her litterbox.

She has been extremely active lately, however last night when she finished she came out and hunched down, hissed, moaned and cried. Yet another example of the healing process gone backwards for a few minutes. She let out such a scream that would curdle your blood.. I jumped up, hit the light and comforted her.. within a few minutes she was calm and purring. she slept fine the rest of the night.

Over the holiday weekend... Cuddles was ok and suffered no problems.

Before, I was woken many times by a kitty who was sick and crying....today I am woken many times by a kitty getting better and wants to play, eat, or just get out of her restrictive room. I can't allow her to roam the house and jump until her feeding tube is removed and she is deemed ok to jump and be normal. I can't risk her hurting herself.. she's been a good sport about it all so far... but I can see it wearing on her.

The resuls from the Biopsi came back.. and ... they found NO OBVIOUS signs of Cancer. Thank God!! They have been keeping track of her blood and many other tests and so far, we are winning in our fight to bring her back to good health.

Thank you all so much for your help, good vibes and solid prayers.

It's still not over yet....

Wednesday July 6th, 2005

Recently during a visit to Arby's I was asked if I wanted to donate 1$ to Big Bro's Big Sis's fund.. of course, I did but I did it with Cuddles in mind.. I donated the money in her name because of the miracle of which she has survived.

 

Called the Vet today to ask about Cuddles reaction over night...

Found out she's ok and what she is going through is normal to her healing.

The Big News... The Blood Work Came Back from our visit last week...

Drum Roll Please....

No obvious signs of cancer were found.

Update Update Update Update Update Update Update Update

Thursday September 1st, 2005

Cuddles underwent surgery today to finally have her Pic Tube removed!

Cuddles woke up with no issues and came through with flying colors!

Due to work and school.. I had to let her stay at the Clinic until Friday.

Friday September 2nd, 2005

Picked Cuddles up after work.. she was happy to be home and the Tube was gone.. she does however now have to wear an E-Collar so she will not bother the area in which she had surgery. At first I was told there would be no stitches however that proved to be false. She has a few.

She is resting peacefully in her bed after returning home and feeling somewhat aggravated by her current condition.

For more pictures.. please see "Flashback"

It's the final stretch on the road to recovery! The "E-Collar" as it is called is there so that she doesn't not "lick" the "stitched" area. It needs to heal and a kitty's saliva is very acidic.

Saturday September 10th, 2005

Shortly after the E-Collar was placed Cuddles became somewhat stressed out. Her eating habbits have changed once again. I had picked her up Friday and by Sunday I was driving to MSU to have a better E-Collar fitted for her. Monday (Labor Day) while observing Cuddles I believe she suffered another mini stroke.. she was stressed out from the Collar so I removed it. Her eating habbits changed again.. only this time.. she isn't eating much.

Today we had an appointment at Berkley Animal Clinic. Found out she has a small infection and the surgical hole that was left from the tube isn't closing that well. We've placed her on yet another antibiotic. The Dr wants to fight this full force and see her again in one week. The side effect of this med is that she could lose her sight (I'll refrain from providing detail of how) however the chances are remote and he believes the risk is worth it in her case.

Cuddles is now home once again.. she's had her meds.. Lets hope to God this works.

We could use your prayers..

Tuesday September 13th, 2005

Received a call from the Dr with Cuddles blood test results. She is suffering from yet another huge infection. After speaking with the Dr and told him about a lump that has appeared and grown and that she is now suffering from it, The Dr advised that is necessary to operate to remove the lump and clean out the infection. Cuddles wants to eat and does every day, however she is currently suffering and this operation will resolve that suffering. Her operation will happen this week.

Thursday September 15th, 2005

Cuddles had her operation today, it was a lot more complicated than what they thought it might be. Dr Hughes stated the infection spread more causing more damage however he cleaned her up as best he could. She was stablized but in pain. I went to see her that day and she was lying down in her cage and not happy. Barely touching her caused tremendous pain. They had her on IV.

Friday September 16th, 2005

Cuddles was doing worse today, they found more abcess forming all over her body. Another Dr had to operate again. Cleaned her up more, now they have three drain tubes in her. She wasn't doing great but she was somewhat stable. She was totally out of it when I came to get her as the Drs at Berkley didn't want her to be left unattended. It was originally planned that leave her there until Sat however due to her condition it was too dangerous.

I picked her up and drove her, in her little bed covered in blankets as she rested to OVRS. I didn't know this was to be our final drive together.

I took her to OVRS (Oakland Veterinary Referral Services. It was there that I found her to be in a state more critical than what was said when we left Berkley. Her temp was way down, her blood count was way down, they had to give her oxygen and put her in a warming tank. She looked so sick and they told me she indeed may not last the evening in her current state regardless of what they do. I felt horrible for what had to be done next. I was right there the entire time watching as they worked to save her life and stablize her. I watched everything from the Oxygen being administered to the vitals they were trying to take and almost could't to the tank they put her in.. she was shaking almost non stop.

Less then an hour later as I was leaving the building, I found I was not going to have enough money for everythying in the short time it would take. With that also in mind and now feeling horrible that I've been able to provide for her up to this point.. however now as they told me.. "lets face it, she is truly suffering now and saying good night would be the most humanitarian thing you could do". Damn I wanted my little girl back and ok. I had one week with her with no tubes and we slept together (next to each other) every night .. whether she was on the bed or I was on the floor next to her little bed.. we were very close.

When Cuddles was finally brought to me in a room... I was totally alone, I held her, she looked at me, kissed my hand and rested against my chest.. after all the pain and suffering she had been through all day and this evening.. Cuddles was finally purring while I was holding her and she rested her little head against my shoulder.... I kissed her head and nose and she kissed my hand and kept right on purring. Before I held her.. all she could do.. was moan and cry. My little princess and I were together for the last time in peace and in a way I'll never forget her as I hope she never forgets me.

As I held her at about 10PM... I said sweet dreams to Cuddles... for the last time, she didn't fight anything and simply rested her head against me and she fell to sleep... Cuddles is now finding a better place to rest in Kitty Heaven. I held her for a while until I felt it was time to leave.

This is by far.. the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.. Cuddles and I... there are no words to describe the relationship we've built and endured. A love that knows no boundaries.

Thank you Cuddles.. for the years of love and memories which we helped each other provide to one another. I will always love you and miss you beyond words. Your love and memories will live on forever. No matter where you went you were loved as the most beautiful kitty with the greatest demeanor and Manners anyone has seen in a long time. Thank you for being a part of my life and giving me something so truly invaluable that many just can't understand.

Thank You Cuddles.. My Little Princess... My World...

Sweet Dreams...

 

Euthanasia is one of the most difficult decisions anyone can ever make for a pet who is a beloved companion.  Although the decision is demanded by humanitarian obligation, it is always traumatic for the person who must finally make it.  It is perhaps the ultimate heartbreak we must be willing to endure for our adored companion animal.  Aside from being the right thing to do, euthanasia can be a psychological nightmare of confusion, guilt and final responsibility…

Wallace Sife, Ph.D. The Loss of a Pet, Chapter 13

 

The only updates after this point will simply be thoughts and memories as I see fit to enter as memories from this point on. Thank you everyone, for your support.

In Memory Of

Cuddles: Age 8 Torti: 04/19/1997 - 09/16/2005

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More Shots of Cuddles before she got sick...

Cuddles hiding in gym bag. She actually curled up and fell asleep.

Beautiful shot of Cuddles watching...

Cuddles.. a Star is Born.. ALWAYS ready for her Close-Up!

Garfield.. eat your heart out!

Please Check back for updates!